Losing someone you love is one of the most heartbreaking things that can happen to anyone. Just when I was getting over losing Daddy (Mama's dad), I had to lose another person who is very dear to my heart. My Tatay (Papa's dad). I'm still in shock. I can't believe I lost my 2 grandfathers in just 3 weeks. My heart is broken into pieces I couldn't even describe how I'm feeling right now. I almost hit a post this afternoon while on my way home cos my mind was elsewhere. I am so lost right now. Friends may see me smiling, laughing or cracking a joke once in a while, but really, deep down, I am so depressed.
I feel like the whole world's crashing down on me. I should've gone with my parents when they rushed to the province last Sunday night. But because of review early the next day, I stayed home. Now I regret having stayed home. I didn't even see Tatay before he died. I remember the last time I saw him, which was 3 weeks ago, I went to Chi's room (where he was staying with Nanay here at our place) to kiss him goodnight, not knowing it would be the last time I would ever see him.
On the other hand, being the ever malambing daughter/niece/granddaughter, I'm thankful I hugged and kissed them every chance I got.
I used to think I was strong. Now I think otherwise.
I know God has a better plan for all of us. But I'm at this point where I want to question Him. I know life is harsh, but I never expected it to be mean to me this way.
How in the world am I going to concentrate on the boards when I'm being emotionally tortured?
I miss you Tatay and Daddy.
