Confusing my feelings with the truth

Okay, so the title doesn't have anything to do with this journal entry. It just so happened that Gabriella (the character from High School Musical, which I so love thanks to Zac Efron) just sang When There Was Me and You. I love that song.
ANYWAY.
Now I know why 3rd year's tough. I'm feeling the pressure. MS, which I love, is a traitor. The long quiz that Asst Dean gave us was just so hard. I mean at first it didn't seem hard because I studied hard for that quiz, but then all the choices seemed like they were all the right answers. This is where CHOOSE THE BEST ANSWER fits. I was so crestfallen when we were having the feedback for the Fluid and Electrolyte quiz. I was never really good at Fluid and Electrolytes anyway. Bawi next quiz.

DUTY.I love RLE. But man, I hate the sched. Instead of 18 mtgs in the OR, we only have like at most 12 because of class suspensions, holidays. For the first time in my life, I want to have duty. I'm willing to go to the OR and go home late because of a surgery that takes 5 hours to finish. But no. We were deprived of the 18 meetings. Well, no one's to blame for this. Malas lang talaga. Blah. I just keep praying that nothing bad or terrible will happen to me that will make me not want to work in the OR in the future. I love it. I love surgery. Thanks to Grey's Anatomy.

School's tough right? I keep saying that. What's tougher is my sched this week. Although we won't be having classes on Monday thanks to Ninoy Aquino's heroism, I'll be in school straight from Tuesday-Monday the following week. I'm going to be in school even on Saturday and Sunday. 'Cause on Sunday, I'll be having my overnight duty :) Nothing to rave about, since owells. Won't go deep into that. I CAN DO THIS. Right? Right. Sacrifice. I have to go through all this. GOAL? Andy Roddick.

Speaking of, Andy is on a roll. He's into the semis of the Cincys. I'm just so proud of him. So what if he's ranked 12th nalang in the world? Well I know it's a big deal that from being number 5, he's now 12th best in the world, it's just that he's raised his game (ooh got that from his site, which I check everyday). He just beat Andy Murray, the same guy who beat him in Wimbledon. That guy's just so arrogant. Not to be mean or anything, but I'm glad Andy Roddick crushed him. I love Andy Roddick to bits. Haaaay. His game has improved so well, that he's playing the same way he did back in 2003, when he won the US Open. And don't believe the rumors that he's dating Maria Sharapova. That's rubbish. He loves going out, but he doesn't have a girlfriend. Not in 5 years. Haha.

I have to finish my pref cards. I hope that we'd be loaded with surgeries come Tuesday. No duty on Wednesday cos we have a seminar on CPR by Dra. Yamamoto. O diba, no duty na naman. I'M HATING IT. Can't we cancel duty when we're having Community Nursing instead? Blah. Hell week next week. Ugh. That's why I slept the whole day today. I officially have SLEEP BULIMIA. I read in this journal that Sleep Bulimia is being sleep-deprived the entire week and sleeping all day on weekends. Hello? I'm the classic example. Well, you can't blame me. I doubt that I'm the only one in my college with Sleep Bulimia. Crap, Nursing in UST is so damn hard. It's okay though, cos it'll all pay off when I'm an RN na. That's why I fully support my college in its quest for TRUTH, JUSTICE AND INTEGRITY for the Nursing Profession. Speaking of, what Prof Villarama and the entire faculty of the UST College of Nursing did just last Thursday & Friday was on the newspaper. Not just in the newspaper. We were on the banner headline. I'm so proud to be a Thomasian Nurse. Okay, so they teach us that we're above other nursing schools, which is a bad thing, but I now love my college. I love Nursing. Even if Pharmacology doesn't love me back.

I have to say that I have conquered another big fear of mine. Due to the Oath-taking that, thank God was postponed, Prof Villarama moved our class from 10.30 yesterday to 4-5.30pm. I had the option of not attending the class, but I just couldn't, because I was lucky as it is to be having Ma'am Villarama as my Peds prof. I couldn't miss her lectures because she's one of the few teachers I've ever had in my entire life who's that good. Hassle because I brought my car, eh I have a hard time driving in the dark because of the really dark tint in my car windows. I left school around 6 na. But I was able to go home safely naman. Thank God.

Good luck to me this week. After hell week, Prelims week naman. More good luck hahaha

Brain saturation

My brain is oversaturated. School is definitely killing me. I can't believe that now I'm always looking forward to duty just cos lecture's killing me. I wasn't able to sleep well last Wed and Thurs because of Pharma and Peds. Pwet. And you'd think it's over after that right? NOOOOO. Plus 3 more quizzes next week. MS, Pharma and Peds. Pharma is, up to now, still my worst subject. I don't know why. I give it my all naman. I study hard. I memorize everything I can memorize. WALANG NANGYAYARI MEHN. Augh. I just want this sem to be over. One thing's keeping me in good spirits, though. Duty in the OR. No other reason except that I'm enjoying the experience and I really want to work in the OR. Seriously.

I have to do pa biblio for Monday's duty. I wish I scrub in. And I wish for a little something something pa with that hahaha :)

On Tuesday, we'll be having a prayer rally in front of the PRC because of the leakage in the nursing licensure exams last june. I'll be joining the rally in the morning, then duty in the afternoon. I couldn't imagine myself as an activist, but I'm going to be there, not because we're required (Seniors lang required, well, Juniors sorta pushed to go), but because I want to fight for this cause. Unfair eh. And I don't want what happened this year to happen to me come June 2008. That'll be crazy. I want to pass the boards, and I pray to God I do. I want to graduate na and work. Ay. 3 more semesters to go.

I can't believe I'm already a Junior. I couldn't stop saying this. It seems as though yesterday I was still roaming the corridors of St. Paul Pasig with Trish and all my friends back there. Oh crap I miss high school. I miss St. Paul Pasig. I miss my classmates. My friends. Even the teachers (some) ha. The buildings. The ambiance. Especially the fact that it was an exclusive school for girls. Boys are crazy, mas fun pag all-girls. Haha. Waah. High school classmates: BAKIT WALA PARIN TAYONG YEARBOOK?? Many of us will be graduating na next year (DLSU and CSB peeps), and yet it seems as though mauuna pa mga yearbooks natin from college maprint.. Ay sana maprint and marelease na yun. Badtrip naman talaga o.. I'm not blaming the yearbook staff because I know Freshman year (college) palang, done na yun eh. What happened? Printing daw eh. GRR. Hay nakonakonako.

Reality check: Dami pa gagawin. Plus, I need to rest. Yes. I love andy roddick. He's injured. I hope he'll be okay by the start of the US open. It'll be a shame if he doesn't make it to the finals. I hope Andy wins this time. Gets the title, I mean. He'll be 24 on the 30th. Happy birthday Andy! (In advance) Haha as if!!!

loving rle

Even if OR's making us crazy (in a good way naman), I have to say, we're all loving the OR experience. Abbie, Oana, Arvin and I were the only ones without cases this afternoon. We weren't at all chillax. We were anticipating emergency cases, too bad 1 case was cancelled, sorry Oana and Abbie. We had fun in the Supply Room though,fixing medical stuff. It made me pretty dizzy by the end of the 'chore', which by the way didn't seem like a chore at all, because of the small font in the meds and the very overwhelming amount of supplies. It was tough sorting them out just cos everything looked the same. Haha.

I was the first person in our group who scrubbed, though.It was an emergency case, and I was the most unlikely person to scrub cos I was the TL, TL=no cases. But for some reason, our CI asked me to scrub ASAP. It was really cool not cos I was the first one who did it, but because I really felt like it was real. I mean it was real, it's just that I've always only seen that kind of action on TV (Grey's Anatomy). Since I'm a big Grey's fan, it's obvious that I really want to be working in the OR. That's where the real action is, although I'm not the surgeon, it's fun, I tell you. Hassle lang yung cleaning all the instruments after the surgery.

NO school tomorrow, but I have to go to USTH tomorrow to get data for my patient last week. Blah. You could only get data every Tuesday eh. Hassle noh? Haha.

*The only pic where Oana and I were both wearing white was taken back when we were still having our RLE at the Female Surgery Ward. Taken weeks ago :)